AGE-OLD LOVE

The Lord appears to him 
from afar with age-old love I have loved you; 
so I have kept my mercy toward you. 

Jeremiah 31:3

From the perspective of psychological science, good quality relationships of all kinds, including quality romantic relationships, have a profound impact on physical health and psychological well-being.

What makes a romantic relationship last?, and How does love change across the lifespan?

Previous research by Tucker and Aaron (1993) suggests that marital satisfaction is typically reported as highest in new marriages, lowering during midlife and improving later in life. The peaks and troughs of relationship satisfaction map onto different life stages. For example, midlife is considered a particularly stressful period for couples due to commitments such as work, child care, financial stresses and caring for older relatives. However, older adulthood is not without its challenges, with older adults facing transitions such as retirement, an empty nest and potential declines in health status.

Recent research completed by one of my doctoral students, Kate Burke, aimed to identify and examine relations between elements of romantic relationship success as described by younger and older adults using a collective intelligence methodology. The results were fascinating.  The top-five most highly rated elements of successful romantic relationships for the older adults were Honesty, Communication, Companionship, Respect, and Positive Attitude, whereas as the top-five most highly rated elements of romantic relationship success for younger adults were Love, Communication, Trust, Attraction and Compatibility.

Notably, honesty was the most fundamental element of relationship success in the collective intelligence structural model developed by the older adult group. Older adults defined Honesty as being ‘able to confide in one another in a truthful way’. 

Interestingly, older adults also selected Religion as one of the key elements of successful romantic relationships. They believed that sharing religious beliefs and attending church together provided a foundation for a successful relationship. This element was not identified as important by the younger adult group. - Michael Hogan Ph.D, psychologytoday.com